The Accidental Husband (Dunne, USA, 2008)

LOL


I'm very bored, and I'm putting off some coursework, so writing about this film is mainly an exercise in amusing myself. That's because it is an amusing film, albeit not one I would risk recommending to anyone, unless I really, really didn't like them. Sitting through this film is comparable to...

I'm gonna hold it there. In this write-up, I'm gonna refrain from giving my opinion of this film. Instead, I'm going to give you the bare facts. Before doing so, take one look at the poster above. Look at Colin Firth, he looks like he's in another world!

Anyway, here's some of the things that happen in The Accidental Husband.

• Colin Firth has an eating disorder. He literally stuffs his mouth with food at any given point in the movie. Pretty much the only thing he does.
  

• Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the Accidental Husband. Here is a list of things we see him do in the opening ten minutes:

1. He enters his flat, where he is greeted warmly be friends. He screams "QUIET!!!" There is no explanation.
2. He proceeds to kiss a bald man on the head.
3. Confident that no one can see him, he then gets out of the window, descends down the exterior fire exit and dives into the bedroom of a teenage boy.
4. He reclines on the bed.
5. With the help of the teenage boy, who is supposedly an internet whizz-kid, he manages to marry Uma Thurman online - without her consent.

• Uma Thurman plays a radio therapist who gives advice on-air concerning the troubled relationships of her listeners (how ironic LOL~!)
• When Uma Thurman gives advice, the camera spins round her in a dizzying motion, probably trying to seem all philosophical and stuff.
  
• In a restaurant scene, we can see a camera reflected in the mirror.
• In the kitchen of said restaurant, a boy waiter gives Colin Firth some munchies, before walking into the camera and hitting his head. He takes a step back.
• People actually walk in front of the camera, obscuring our view of the alluring Uma Thurman. Heh.
• Some characters appear in a certain position in one shot, before materialising elsewhere in the next, erasing all immediate continuity.

Look, I could go on with the faults of The Accidental Husband all bleedin' day. Really, I could. But perhaps the key thing to take on board is that, instead of actually typing out a write-up on my thoughts, I simply explained events that happen in the movie. When an opinion is unnecessary, when the details of a film tell us all we need to know of its quality, then there's only one way this can go.

1/2*