The Happening (dir. Shyamalan, USA, 2008)

Even before Shyamalan's latest thriller entered the nation's multiplexes, I suspected prematurely that he was in for another critical mauling. Lady in the Water had offended many film reviewers across the globe for Bob Balaban's portrayal of a cold, snobbish film critic that met his end at the hands (or paws) of a vicious wolf-thing...or whatever that was.

It isn't rocket science to conlude that Shyamalan's inclusion of this character served as a response to the negative reception of his previous film, 2004's The Village. Furthermore, Mr. M Night has now seen himself subjected to the critics' own response. They would have taken the insult of Balaban's character to heart, perceived Lady in the Water to be self-aggrandising drivel and duly spewed hatred on The Happening. Is this the correct assumption, or is the film truly deserved of its widespread bashing?

To clear things up, yes, The Happening does have the absurd premise you've been hearing about. I won't spoil the ins and outs of the great peril, but I will explain that, as the posters and trailers suggest, people across the USA are mysteriously offing themselves. Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel star as a married couple that run like 'fraidy cats across the country from whatever is causing this insanity.

Shyamalan's track record doesn't wow me so much as it encourages me to scour the rental store for something a little more invigorating. As much as I admire the combined heart and thrills on offer in The Sixth Sense, I don't think it has aged terribly well. This could be my fault, having known the twist before I saw the actual film, but compared to what else was on offer in 1999 and what has been produced ever since, it doesn't seem like such a great achievement 9 years on. Cinema has moved on, we've experienced lazy twists over and over to the point where we find it unbearable not to have all cards on the table, and stay there. I'm over plot twists, I don't want the rug pulled out from me anymore. Especially when you're using the twist as an excuse to 'wow' your audience out of any critique that centres on your lazy writing. I'm not digging at Shyamalan here, oh no. This one goes out to the Saw franchise, yet again.

For every M Night Shyamalan film that surfaced following The Sixth Sense, audiences soon realised his storytelling mannerisms and started in earnest to look for the plot twist in every one of his films. He became synonymous with the device. That is, until Lady in the Water came along.

Here comes the shocker: I like Lady in the Water.

Hell, I really like Lady in the Water. Sure, there is Balaban's polarising role. And yes, Shyamalan does cast himself as the saviour of the universe. And not to mention, none of the mythos conjured up in the film make any sense whatsoever.

So what? Film audiences believed in E.T. when he ran into Elliott whatsisname all those years ago. The key thing about Lady in the Water is its cast of characters get on board to help the narf return home, regardless of all the gibberish they're hearing. They're willing to believe, and the film critic is so boxed in inside his own, short-sighted world that he ultimately meets his demise at the hands of the very creatures he refused to acknowledge. Shyamalan only asked us to let go for 90 minutes and enjoy an original fable, however convoluted it appeared to be. Not to mention, there was beautiful shots here and there.

Having enjoyed Lady in the Water and not taking it as a personal insult like the rest of the world's population, I expected much of the same situation come the release of The Happening. Critics would despise, and I would look to appreciate some of the finer aspects of the film. At least, that's what I thought.

I was so wrong. The Happening is an awful, awful film. It isn't even a film; it is a guide to how not to shoot a film. Technically, aesthetically, it's a total failure.

The first thing you realise, about 45 minutes into the film, is that Shyamalan is attempting to pay tribute to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, with his own spin on nature turning against Earth's human occupants. If M Night fancies himself as the next Hitchcock, he needs to start mustering up a sense of dread to start proceedings. Nothing in The Happening screams immediate danger, making it seem more like a well-intentioned but truly hideous B-movie, rather than a Hitchcock imitation. Without the notion that this 'catastrophe' was in any way threatening to the protagonists, the film becomes no better than a generic American horror directed by any other generic American horror filmmaker. Shyamalan isn't setting himself apart from the bunch here; he's putting them on a pedestal by lowering his previous reputation as a talented filmmaker.

The direction, editing and composition is a disappointment. Characters are shown in the same room, only in separate, distant cuts that indicate they're not in the same vicinity as one another at all. People act in the most unconvincing manner; walking away from their escape vehicle in order to watch another vehicle drive off. Do real people do that, especially in times of extreme danger? These people also have a habit of talking as they walk, taking a few steps, and then stopping to face each other to say something important, before continuing their walk. Totally inane, and yet again, reduces the seriousness of the material.

The biggest crime of all is undoubtedly the sheer number of closeup reaction shots framed on Mark Wahlberg's face. Every other shot in this film is of his constipated face making ridiculous statements such as 'Central Park, that's weird', for everyone around him to then ignore. If I counted on my fingers that amount of times the camera jumps onto Marky Mark's face, I'd need about 37 arms.

I am afraid this has turned into a rant. Still, for all the scorn I pour onto this gigantic disappointment, I can't help but remember all the smiles it put on my face. Yes, The Happening is saved from the lowest score available by being one of those films. It has fallen straight into the 'so bad it's funny' archive. How could I forget the old lady who was overly protective of her lemon juice? Or Marky Mark conversing with a plastic plant? Or this gem of dialogue:

"Kids."

"Yeah?"

"...nothing."

The Happening made me laugh, but I am not to judge it as a comedy. The poster and the trailer offered me something else entirely, and it was not delivered. On its own intentions, The Happening fails miserably and proves that this time around, yes, M Night Shyamalan produced a real stinker.

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