That is the question.
Little under a year ago, after hearing enormous Lost-levels of hype and excitement directed towards this new show entitled "Heroes", I decided it was best to wait until the first season had finished being broadcast on television before I whizzed through it without interruption. I eventually viewed the entirety of Season 1 in little under two weeks, and found it to be hugely inferior to Lost in all aspects of character, depth and pacing. Still, I didn't write it off as a total loss, and I accepted that it was a decent enough standalone tale, a sort of 16 hour movie that had no need to continue due to its cast of characters finding resolution in their individual quests. All was tied together nicely; yes, the villain got away, but above all it seemed that there was nowhere left to go for our heroes, nor did it seem there was anything readily planned for their future behind the scenes.
This brings me to Season 2, which I finished last night. To put it bluntly, this was a total chore to endure, start to finish. So much of a chore, in fact, that I had it on the background for the majority of the time whilst I surfed the internet. I'd be reading the latest record review and I'd be offput by the ever-lasting meolodramatic wails emitting from my speakers. The flaws in the first season are amplified tenfold; firstly, there are new characters, all of them completely worthless and unrelated to the larger picture.
Rubbish character is kidnapped: the world fails to care.
Nicki/Jessica was a character I was never fond of, because she never fulfilled any purpose in the first season, other than punch people in the face when she got really angry. However, the new faces here just take the piss; we're introduced to Micah's cousin, a young black girl that works in McDonalds, but has --OMG-- the ability to replicate any action she witnesses. If she sees someone swing round a pole and kick someone in the face, she'll do it. So it's a pity when we see her newfound ability take a backseat to her incessant moping around, whining about her future.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR LIFE.
Go to acting school, bitch.
We also have two fugitives named Maya and Alejandro Herrera, even more needless. I'll get to those two later, because they have the most (unintentionally) funny scenes in the entire show.
This scene falls flat on its face from the off, mainly because there's no realistic chance that a 12 year old boy would read a comic entitled "Saint Joan"
Trash Flavoured Trash
When watching television, I almost never give it the same criticism I would impart to a piece of film. It's a whole different animal; we get fed so much bullshit in the form of reality TV, game shows and cheesy soap operas that's it become commonplace to accept television as the shameful home of trash. It is a form of escape distant from that of cinema, where we easily submit to dumbed down productions such as Strictly Come Dancing, Britain's Got Talent, amongst other countless moronic cesspools of shit that clog up the Saturday night schedule. I've largely given up on television, aside from a few gems that strive to remind us that there does indeed exist a niche of well-written, well-constructed dramas. I'll admit most of these come from HBO, namely Deadwood, The Sopranos and The Wire, but there's also some worthwhile, intelligent comedies like Futurama and South Park; shows that opt to entertain, rather than patronise their audience.
With Lost, I'm in the mind that it's brilliantly crafted, but poorly written. Watching shows like Deadwood really do reinforce this fact. But Lost is a gimmick show, and it aims for different goals than those from the HBO stable. I can't judge Lost like I would a film, I don't want to fault it; it keeps me guessing, and I respect any show that encourages thoughtful guesswork in its viewers. The same can't be said of Heroes. Not only do I care little in anticipating the endeavours of its many, many unnecessary characters, I also can't help but watch it with a critical eye. It does so much to rub me the wrong way, that I happen to notice every annoying camera movement, every hint of grating melodrama, every unintentionally hilarious moment - of which there are dozens, might I add.
This girl has the ability to heal herself, yet she's still crying? Ungrateful cunt.
The camera mostly sits below the characters, making them seem bigger and more prominent, like...heroes, I guess. When something OMFG occurs, the camera will then swoop straight into their agonised faces whilst we're forced to listen to them talk to their family in a way no real-life family converses with one another. What kind of world are they living in where a mysterious boy can enter the family home at early morning and make waffles with the mother, despite them having never met before? Why is Claire so emotionally open with her father, Noah? Have they had sex? Why has Peter Petrelli reduced his persona to that of Anakin Skywalker, walking round with an ingrained scowl, talking like a man squeezing out a cold, hard shit?
Peter Petrelli channelling the thespian talents of Hayden Christensen.
A key strength of Lost is the unpredictability of the island itself. There's always an impending sense of doom, a reminder that the environment is consistently dangerous. Any cast member could be killed off at any point, without warning, without remorse. Heroes, on the other hand, hates to take risks with its characters. It's remarkable that a show has presented its characters with no depth of interest, yet at the same time is scared to rid itself of them. The creators love their characters so much that any time one happens to be ceremoniously killed off, you can expect them to find some cheap trick to bring them back almost instantly. My favourite one is the regenerative cell skillz - it's an ability whereby the host can bring their limbs back to full health, no matter how much damage it's taken. Noah Bennett gets shot in the eye, dies. No wait, he's alive~! Oh, but...Adam Monroe has just got a sword through the chest...looks like he's...no, oh my, he too is seemingly immortal!
This poor soul's just been told he can't leave the show and return to his family, because
NO ONE MUST DIE.
Foolish Mortals
My last complaint is of the jaw-droppingly absurd variety. Sylar, the villain of Season 1, is another fella that got completely merked by the good guys, yet somehow managed to survive and fall down a drain, causing him to end up in Mexico by the time Season 2 rolls around. Whatever. He happens to meet the horribly unnecessary Maya and Alejandro, as I mentioned before, and decides to hitchhike with them. Discovering they have the ridiculous ability to make people's eyes bleed, he decides to trick them into taking him somewhere where yadda yadda yadda. Before I continue, I must state that this trip in the car takes up ELEVEN EPISODES.
The best, most laughable part of this scenario is the complete willingness of Maya to surrender herself to Sylar (going under his guise of Gabriel), no matter how sinister he acts around her. When they first meet and exchange introductions, she tells him he is their saviour, because he is named Gabriel, 'like the angel'. Sylar then looks out of the window, adopts a mighty evil grin, and murmurs in a highly suspicious tone of voice, 'Yes...like the angel...' Look, I'm sorry, but if I was in that car with him, I sure as hell wouldn't respond with an admiring gaze. I'd boot him out! No, Maya treats him like a demi-god...only it gets worse, read on.
"Yes...like the angel...mwahahhahahaaa."Sylar makes it perfectly clear he's one evil sonofabitch. Meanwhile, Maya looks on as if she's always wanted a serial killer for Christmas.
Alejandro is a bit of a wise guy you see, since he cottons on that Sylar, or Gabriel, has no such good intentions and is actually plotting to kill them both. Actually, Sylar tells him this straight up, just to rub it in, y'know, a 'I'm gonna kill you, then screw your sister in the ass' kind of way. Why Sylar feels the need to wait through eleven episodes of car-pooling to carry out this deed is really beyond me. Countless scenes go by of Sylar saying blatantly evil things, even so far as suggesting that Alejandro be left behind to allow him and Maya some alone time (not a good idea), until we reach the eventual murder of Alejandro.
Sylar, again, taking great pains to remind us that he's evil. Strange how he only seems to do this when Maya is standing right next to him...
This is where the whole ordeal reaches new levels of comedic brilliance. Before Alejandro is killed, he takes Maya aside and shows her a newspaper article about Sylar's reputation as a serial killer, complete with an actual picture of his face on the front page...
...only Maya still doesn't believe the good authority of a broadsheet, and instead professes her love to Sylar/Gabriel, who is stood outside Alejandro's cabin, Sylar currently topless and sweating after having exhausted his energy murdering Alejandro, the butchered brother generating screams of pain that Maya was clearly in earshot of. Selective hearing is a bitch sometimes, isn't it?
To cut a long story short, the naive Maya is eventually shot by Sylar, not long after a complete stranger (a small girl who has spent the entire series stuck in a room and hasn't seen any of the aforementioned events) has to be the one to tell her that Sylar had murdered her brother.
Maya, watching on with a permanent smirk as Sylar, on the phone, more or less implies murdering a 5 year old girl......
...and here, Maya gets completely owned by said 5 year old girl, of superior intelligence.
I can't deal with Heroes anymore. It makes my blood boil, it drives me to cynicism of a violent nature. It makes me cringe. It goes without saying that I won't stick around for Season 3, unless the show's writers do the impossible and gleefully massacre all their characters. It's a shame that won't happen, because Heroes is afraid to take risks in all areas of its execution. If this year brings more of the same, then I won't be taking a risk with it.
I think I'll stick with Lost, 24 - what I like to call 'good trash'.
